The Tortured Poets Department — Aching Melodies Sparked From The Ashes of A Treacherous Walk Down Memory Lane

With the impairments of youth and the illusion of nostalgia laying the foundation, Taylor Swift’s The Tortured Poets Department sheds light on the greatest pains that plagued her mind and intermingled with her psyche for the better part of a decade: the “what ifs” and the “if onlys.” Dropping much of the fictional veil that covered Folklore and Evermore, TTPD is arguably one of Swift’s most vulnerable albums to date. With stripped-back vocals that range from deep and sultry to high and screeching, the instruments guide the narrative evolution. Vacillating between fond memories, deep-seated doubt, and the hellfire of a woman scorned, TTPD is a tumultuous trek through the barren landscape of a truly tortured poet’s mind. With past regrets and missed opportunities highlighting the universal inklings that occasionally dwell in the depths of our souls, listeners are immersed in the narrator’s innermost thoughts swelling up from a shattered reflection staring at them in the mirror, pondering the question — “Did I choose the right road to walk down all those years ago?”

It’s reminiscent of the unknown quote:

“The mark of a mature man is a certain scar he bears: the memory of a perfect woman never won, or of a once-true love forever lost. However much he may love you, he is only here because she is not.”

What happens when that lost love comes back around as a metaphorical neighbor or co-worker for that matter? Do you blow up the life you’ve built to take that passage back in time? Do you trust that the grass is greener on the other side? If the decision wasn’t hard enough, having every baby step you take magnified by millions of eyes only adds insult to injury. Yet, sometimes the wondering is worse than any actual outcome could be.

Indecision is a crippling feeling but Taylor Swift has once again encapsulated this unique, specific, yet universal emotion into poetry. While torturous it may be, those who are willing to buckle up and go along for the ride through 31 songs are sure to feel a beautifully cathartic kaleidoscope of sentiments that offer cutting insights into what can happen when you choose to roll that stone away. The grass isn’t always greener, but the fact that you went searching may be a sign that you needed a different lawn all along.

If “Speak Now” was the setting sun of her childhood, The Tortured Poets Department is the last coin spent from the currency of Swift’s youth: a wish granted for a mere moment, from a penny tossed into the pool years ago. TTPD is not only a reflection on the path not taken but a heartbreaking encounter with past versions of yourself. It’s a romanticization of the “what could have been,” and the explosive realization that some time capsules are better left buried. The Tortured Poets Department is a brutally raw, courageously vulnerable journey, barefoot, through the grass that got painted greener for a fortnight or two before being coated in the pitch-black ink of betrayal and disillusionment. Steeped in the labyrinth of her mind, the tortured poetry poured out like tears on a manuscript.

The Tortured Poets Department Broke Me In Ways I Never Expected

In the days following the release of The Tortured Poets Department and “The Anthology,” I was fighting to keep my head above the depressive waters I found myself in. I couldn’t figure out why, then it dawned on me; no heartbreak hits quite like the realization that Taylor’s fans were the ones who deeply hurt her.

There’s no doubt that certain poignant lines, such as the bridge of “But Daddy I Love Him” were directly speaking to a subset of Swiftie stans who started a “Speak Up Now” movement online, encouraging Swift to end her fresh fling with the 1975 singer, Matty Healy, due to his long history of controversial statements.

“I'll tell you something right now

I'd rather burn my whole life down

Than listen to one more second of all this bitchin’ and moanin’

I'll tell you something about my good name

It's mine alone to disgrace

I don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing

God save the most judgmental creeps

Who say they want what's best for me

Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I'll never see

Thinking it can change the beat

Of my heart when he touches me

And counteract the chemistry

And undo the destiny

You ain't gotta pray for me

Me and my wild boy

And all this wild joy

If all you want is gray for me

Then it's just white noise

And it's just my choice”

Perhaps one of her most scathing bridges to date, the lyrics exist inside a much larger metaphor — something Taylor Swift has always done well. In this way, Swift’s writing almost creates two parallel storylines: that of a small-town good girl running off with the bad boy and being judged by the morally righteous in the town, and one that mirrors her own life as a celebrity, with the scrutiny that comes along with the ferocity of public opinion. Using extended metaphors as a literary device in her songwriting doesn’t stop there. In fact, it’s eloquently used throughout TTPD to paint a much more nuanced picture of the album’s theme. We can see this in “Down Bad” which relates love bombing to an alien abduction — where it feels like your lover opened up a whole new world for you to see, then took it all away. Similar to Plato’s Allegory of the Cave, Swift’s hometown feels so hollow now that she has experienced a bigger world. However, those who never left the planet (or saw beyond the shadows of the cave wall) will say she’s nuts for even talking about the existence of this grander love.

The beautiful imagery and tragic lyricism in the song “Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus” are sure to put listeners in an emotional chokehold, as every line stings. Embodying the deep cuts of nostalgia and loss in its score, the pain is palpable: reminiscing on a decade that played two people for fools. However, it also touches on a more serious subject matter that had yet to be explored in Swift’s discography — loving a drug addict.

“You needed me but you needed drugs more
And I couldn't watch it happen
I changed into goddesses, villains and fools
Changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules
All to outrun my desertion of you
And you just watched it”

While painfully honest and ruthlessly relatable for so many, the incessant wondering if this person “loved you the way that you were,” before you grew up and got molded by life’s hurts, continues to be heartbreaking as listeners move throughout the verses, chorus, and bridge.

Another standout track from this album is “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?” which Swift described as, “just a song about being crazy" in a voice memo of the first draft. She introduced the song on the radio as something she wrote: “alone, sitting at the piano” in a moment of bitterness. Swift went on to describe the odd sense of masochism that has plagued the public’s perception of writers and creatives, noting that “We love to watch artists in pain, often to the point where I think sometimes as a society we provoke that pain and we just watch what happens."

There’s no denying that Taylor Swift’s pain has been profitable, from the childhood bullying that sparked her initial need for songwriting to the high school boys who did her wrong. Taking the emotions from real-life experiences and turning them into art is a foundational element of the creative process that Swift mastered all those years ago. Understandably, the tightrope of fame became harder to walk on the further Swift rose on that latter of success. Deciphering song lyrics became a sport — not only for those who wanted to relate to her lyrics on a deeper level but for gossip blogs and celebrity news sites, eagerly searching for their next headline.

Swift’s success as a songwriter is largely due to the authenticity and vulnerability she’s maintained in her lyrics throughout her high-profile career. The open door of communication Swift has built with her fans is foundational: allowing them to feel like they know her. Cleverly, underneath the themes of heartbreak, The Tortured Poets Department is layered with a commentary on celebrity nature and, at times, a seemingly direct response to the invasive opinions of a fandom. While possibly jarring for the casual listener unfamiliar with the intricacies of Swift’s personal affairs, those who are well-versed in the Swiftie universe recognize “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?” as an album highlight. With layers of lyrical depth that compare fame to a circus life and asylum, the haunting production matches its emotional resonance.

A Lot Was Going On At The Moment TTPD Was Created

The start of 2023 was alight with sparks, riding the coattails of praise from Swift’s massively successful rollout of her 10th studio album “Midnights.” While the widely anticipated Eras Tour kicked off in March, news of her breakup with actor Joe Alwyn, after over six years of dating, broke less than a month later. In May 2023, Swift was romantically linked to The 1975’s Matty Healy but the whirlwind romance was reportedly over by June. In July, Kansas City Chief’s tight end, Travis Kelce, attended Swift’s Eras Tour show in hopes of giving her a friendship bracelet with his number on it. While the two didn’t connect that night, someone was playing matchmaker behind the scenes because they reportedly started hanging out in August and publicly announced their relationship in September when Taylor attended one of Travis’s games. In October, still amid a global tour, Swift’s re-recorded album 1989 (Taylor’s Version) came out, just three months after Speak Now (Taylor’s Version). If that wasn’t enough for a single calendar year, in December, Taylor Swift was announced as Time’s Person of the Year for 2023, which came with an iconic interview that shed light on “The Taylor Swift Effect” and the pressure of carrying economies on the back of her sequin starred silhouette.

With the announcement of her 11th studio album in February of 2024, many fans were understandably preparing to be quenched by the tea of Swift’s diaristic songwriting. While there were several muses and major life events that could have occupied space on the album, fans were quite convinced Swift’s long-term relationship with Alwyn would take up most of it. Instead, we were given “So Long, London” and the ballad “How Did it End?” where she referenced the descending “empathetic hunger” and put that curiosity into humble perspective.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a songwriter in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a love story. In fact, Taylor Swift has spent most of her life trying to put love into words. However, immediate comments about how a heart-wrenching breakup would lead to the following album being “fire” were understandably insensitive and dehumanizing. Plus, an album closer like “The Manuscript” helps listeners make sense of Swift’s songwriting process, with lyrics like:

“And the tears fell
In synchronicity with the score
And at last
She knew what the agony had been for

The only thing that's left is the manuscript
One last souvenir from my trip to your shores
Now and then I reread the manuscript
But the story isn't mine anymore”

While this perspective may make it sound like little information was shared about the deterioration of her long-term relationship, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Swift referred to songwriting as a life raft while making TTPD, inevitably leaving fans with a trail of breadcrumbs to follow.

Connecting the dots isn’t simply done for the purposes of entertainment though. The Tortured Poets Department not only entrances the listener in the story Swift is creating, but it encourages you to create your own connections with each song, applying lyrics to your own life and extracting truths that only you can keep. That is part of the magic of Swift’s music and why her loyal fanbase is so unbreakable; listeners feel less alone in their lives by gaining insight into hers.

Understanding the nuances of Swift’s discography has become akin to studying literature, identifying themes and motifs, extracting lessons, and analyzing how every morally ambiguous shade of gray can apply to decisions we’ve made in our own lives. Taylor Swift’s songs embody emotions we’ve all felt; she simply dares to write them down and courageously sings about them for the world to hear. TTPD is another step away from the girlhood ideals that painted her earlier work and into a much more brutal adult world, where decisions catch up to you, and the realities of practicality intersect with the dwindling hope of that youthful naivety.

The song “Guilty as Sin?” could be moral ambiguity’s representative — it begs the question: is emotional cheating actual infidelity? However, it isn’t the only song that reveals some of Swift’s more personal demons. “The Black Dog” paints an intimate picture of the moment you realize an ex forgot to turn their location off on their phone, encapsulating the impending emotional spiral in the piercing line, “Old habits die screaming.”

Other song lyrics on TTPD have been deemed cringy or embarrassing, such as the line, “You smoked, then ate seven bars of chocolate” from the title track. However, these lyrics are often the gate from specificity to vulnerability, so listeners should be encouraged to understand the importance of such lines. The title track continues by referring to the relationship as a cyclone of Swift’s choosing, but the bridge puts everything into perspective —

“At dinner, you take my ring off my middle finger

And put it on the one people put wedding rings on

And that's the closest I've come to my heart exploding”

Although this newfound love may not be perfect, it’s bringing her back to life and making her feel again, in ways her long-term relationship never did, which helps the listener understand, justify, or even relate to that exact experience.

The Production Matches The Emotion

TTPD moves between harsh sounds and melodic structures that mimic the sting of the lyrics, while also offering a stripped-back production that reveals the vulnerability in Swift’s songwriting. The production is a result of Swift’s close collaboration with Jack Antonoff and Aaron Dessner.

The sound of TTPD is a culmination of many genres and a musical mosaic in and of itself. Listeners move through upbeat pop bops like “I Can Do It With a Broken Heart” or “So High School” to the heart-wrenching melancholic sound of “Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus” to the repetition in a piano ballad like “Peter” to the country twang and saloon vibes of “I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)” to the wrath that can be felt in the screeching production of “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?” and so many sounds in between. The 31-song tracklist will take you to many different places, but while you’re listening, you’ll realize there’s no other place you’d rather be.

Like the emotions and subject matter it embodies, The Tortured Poets Department is deep, reaching vast corners of the music industry and pushing Taylor Swift creatively to a new level. Not everyone will love the unguarded, occasionally unflattering, light such vulnerability paints Swift in. Not everyone will be happy about receiving two albums at once. The casual listener may be frustrated by the depths of the lore-filled water they have to wade through to connect with certain songs or lyrics, and that’s okay because those who take the time to get it, get it. More than any other album, Swift NEEDED to make this one, and while certain lines felt particularly pointed, what a gift every word was. Not every fandom is awarded the opportunity to grow and evolve with an artist determined to challenge themselves creatively, but it truly is an unbelievable privilege. Plus, the Swifties that have been around for a while aren’t surprised by the musical evolution, as a 20-year-old Taylor Swift once said:

“I think it's important that you know that I will never change. But I'll never stay the same either. Must be a Sagittarius thing.”